It’s been 18 months now since we have been trying to have a baby and it seems like everyone else my age that’s married (or not) is getting pregnant. But not me. My three best friends, Elizabeth and now in the past couple weeks three more women I know are expecting (one a “brother”‘s wife, one a friend from WOLBI and another my husbands UL’s wife). It’s really discouraging, especially since there seems to be nothing wrong with us. All of our tests have come back good. Except I had a sorta low progesterone I think. But it wasn’t awful.
I think I just need to stay off of Facebook because every time I get on it seems like someone else is announcing that they’re pregnant. I don’t get on a whole lot to begin with. It’s my home page when I open my browser but I don’t look at it half the time. I’m happy for them but at the same time I am discouraged. I want to be pregnant so bad. I want a baby of my own. I can’t really SEE myself pregnant or a mom but I know I want it. Really bad some times.
I know God has a plan and I need to wait patiently, but it’s hard, and getting harder. I feel like I’ve waited long enough. Been upset too many times when I get AF or a BFN, or sometimes when I see someone else that is pregnant. I’ve written half of this before. I did the other day actually. But repeating it isn’t bad. It’s therapy. I hope they will call with the results of my blood test soon. Today or tomorrow. I pray this medicine is working.
I’ve been reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility but it hasn’t told me much I don’t alreayd know. Some but not a lot. Such as when your BBT rises you have already ovulated and I now feel my cervix correctly. And that I don’t think I O’d for the past 6 months, according to my BBT chart. That was discouraging but enlightening at the same time. Explains why we haven’t gotten pregnant those months. This month was weird too. I got a positive OPK but my temp didn’t really spike until a few days after. I’m so confused about it all! I hope God will answer my prayers soon. And everyone else’s. I’m so thankful for my friends who keep us in their prayers. They’re amazing.